First!

I've been blithering on and on about starting a blog like this for the better part of two years, and since I have very little in way of things to do in recent days what with work clogging up most of my time like a clock smeared with cholesterol, and since my opinions are worthless when I don't bother writing them down, and since my friend started her own blog, I've decided to put a weasel in my trousers (that's a phrase, right?) and face up to the challenge.

So I guess I need an introduction: I'm Ben Canner. I like movies. No, I'm not a film major, nor do I consider myself to be snobbish in an appropriately critical way, but I am an English major (which is the same basic type of analysis. Seriously. I'm not worthless I swear) and I regularly find myself embroiled in film culture and reviews, so I do know at least something of what I'm talking about mostly possibly no judgement. But the point is I like talking about movies and I like surfing Netflix for movies I haven't seen and picking ones at random and watching them even if they suck worse that a hooker-vacuum cyborg (a hoover?). And now I wish to subject/inform you of my own thoughts on the random shit no one knows about nor cares to remember. Consider me an archaeologist of celluloid tragedies, finding the occasional gold statute among the mountains of dirt and prehistoric crap.

The basic rules to my reviews are the following: 1) There will be spoilers in all my reviews. I'm giving you fair warning here that I will be reviewing the films as a whole and as such I'll need to discuss endings, and I don't want to ruin a movie for anyone. 2) I should post at least once a week. There's no reason I can't sit down for a film at least once in any given week, regardless of what's going on, and it would be irresponsible for me to have a blog and not use it like a turkey baster or a whisk or a whole bunch of things I find in my pantry when I'm smashed and bored. 3) I want people to have fun. I don't anyone to feel like I'm personally attacking their preferred genre or film because I'm a jerk. I tend to use hyperbole in everyday conversation because everyday conversation is kinda dull otherwise. "I saw a large fly" is an okay if somewhat bizarre sentence, but "I saw a fly so huge another fly was riding it like a horse" grabs people, even if it too is a weird sentence in normal conversation unless you study these sorts of things as you collect corpses for your meat locker (whoops there it is again). Point is I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or insult anyone; If I don't like a movie, that's my opinion, although I reserve the right to beat a movie senseless if I don't like it. I am human.

More rules to follow, and my first review. Let's hope it's a good one! Hope everyone likes the blog!